Covid-19: How do we UNlockdown?

First of all, give yourselves a virtual medal. We are now 6-8 weeks into isolating depending on when we started. Those of us with children have spent the equivalent of the summer holidays in the same space with nowhere to go and no one to see. Those of us on our own have slogged through nearly 2 months of just our own company. Let's face it, it's getting pretty old.

But a recurring theme amongst friends I speak to is that there are elements of lockdown we have all enjoyed and want to take away with us. That first week my overwhelming feeling was relief that I'd got off the hamster wheel. The feeling of having nowhere to go, no meetings, no pushing the kids out of the door for school and no hustle and bustle was so peaceful. Granted, our life was exceptionally busy, and I think we needed a break. (Also granted, I now feel like I'm on an even bigger hamster wheel, but that's another story!)

• I've learnt that our home and garden provides far more entertainment than I ever could have realised.
• I've learnt that my children can use their imaginations when they aren't overstimulated. They've spent hours this lockdown just tending some snails and inventing imaginary games.
• I've learnt that when I'm short with them and irritated, it's generally because of the pressures of 100 other things in my head rather than their behaviour or me lacking the skills and compassion to parent them.
• I've learnt that we don't need to go out to loads of places to be happy.
• I've learnt that I love cooking and actually enjoy cleaning my house when I feel relaxed and have more time.
• I've learnt that we can save hundreds by not doing lots of the activities that we do to 'get out' because we feel stressed.
• I've learnt that my (probably autistic) middle child is much happier and settled at homeschool than going to school, where she expends all her energy masking and then explodes when she comes home.
• I've learnt that my children can rise to the challenge of taking on far more responsibility than I used to give them credit for - they can now hoover the whole house, load and unload the dishwasher, do the washing, clean the windows, keep their rooms tidy, fold washing, dust, take the compost and recycling out, and steam mop.
• I've learnt that there are loads of lovely walks around here that we hadn't discovered - and that the girls are now easily able to walk for a couple of hours without complaining.
• I've learnt that I don't miss my job half as much as I thought I would, and I really don't miss spending evenings and weekends working. 
• I've learnt that the small things can bring so much pleasure - wild flowers, our view, a cup of tea enjoyed at leisure, a card from a friend.

The question is, how much can and should we take away into 'normality' with us from lockdown? And how do we work that out? I've spent the last few weeks trying to work through this.

Here are some thoughts I've had.

1) We can't, and shouldn't, try and emulate all of this when lockdown finishes. We were given this time for a reason, but it's not real life. It's an artificial and temporary situation. While we can think through our priorities, it's unrealistic to put pressure on ourselves to take all the good things away with us. We need to work our jobs, most of us think our kids should be in school rather than homeschool, and we need to spend time meeting people and celebrating things and going to appointments and just doing life. We can be thankful for the gifts of this time without feeling like we have to figure out how to integrate them all into post-lockdown life.

2) We can, and should, take some of these things with us. As Matt Haig points out, though some mental health issues are escalating during lockdown, we cannot possibly pretend that pre-Covid life was a 'mental health utopia'. A huge number of us felt overwhelmed, overbusy, overstressed and overworked before Coronavirus. So let's learn the lessons we've been taught during this time and figure out what can and should change.

3) Let's think through what this time has taught us about what we really do miss. Here are some other things I've learnt:

• That having people in my home, cooking for and with them and eating with them is an essential part of life.
• That meeting together as a church, and especially singing together, is precious and definitely worth all the hard work that goes into practical set up for it.
• That face to face, bodily present communication makes Zoom pale in comparison. 
• That we actually take pleasure in working hard in our home and garden, even the really difficult jobs!
• That we can stay in touch with people who are far away via tech all the time, not just in lockdown. We live far apart from a lot of family - I definitely want to carry on playing games online with them and Zooming even when normality resumes.

Aidan and I want to take these priorities and rebuild life around these, figuring out how we can adapt to put the important things at the centre. Number 1 is very dear to our hearts. When it is safe again, we want our home to be open to our family and friends a LOT. I've realised it's not having an immaculate home and special dinners that matters, it's just having people in our midst and living life together - mess and all. I'm not sure how this will work when my husband goes back to his intense and stressful job, but I definitely think we have changed our outlook on how we manage that stress - and I think it will involve more gardening and fewer trips to cafés...

Again, I'm fully aware that the privileges of a garden, spacious home and each other mean that this is a blog post I am completely blessed to even write. I know that for many, lockdown has presented only difficulties and that the sooner it ends the better. This is just our experience and one we are grateful for. And don't get me wrong, I am really struggling with a lot of aspects of it. 5 people under one roof exclusively for 8 weeks is not a pretty sight at times.

Have you enjoyed anything about lockdown? Is there anything you want to take away with you? And how will you do that?