Covid-19: where do we turn when we're out of control of our lives?

There are two whacking great truths Covid has taught us about our life and our world. One is that we are not in control, much as we'd like to think so. And two is that fear of death is very real.

1) We are not in control

In our Western existence, we've got this control thing down - or so we thought. We call instructions to Alexa to cherry-pick our music and podcast choices while cooking our paleo meals to control our diet that we eat in our homes we have decorated to Insta-standard. We choose our careers, our holidays, our clothes, our friends. We cut everything out we don't like: from "toxic" relationships to carbohydrates. We plan days out, holidays and retirements. We wield money like a magic wand. We accumulate gadgets that give us a sense of ultimate control. We can Google anything at the tips of our fingers to get any information we want. We get very annoyed with little disappointments as a result: just shut the WiFi off in a houseful of adults for two minutes and see what happens. I mean, I found myself having a mental strop the other day because neither Sainsbury's or ASDA had tahini paste in stock - before I gave myself a mental slap (and then ordered it off Prime...).

We had our gym routines, our work-life balance, our childcare and our social calendars all hyper-controlled: the plates spinning carefully. And then Coronavirus came along and threw a giant curveball and smashed all those plates.

We've learnt we are not in control at all. A microscopic virus, which defies human control, has wreaked havoc among our lives and our nations. Governments who have control of nuclear weapons and the power to destroy millions of lives have been brought to their knees by Covid. The stock markets of the globe's most affluent nations have ground to a halt. In our age of constant growth, constant accruing of wealth, constant clamouring for more, more - we have been rudely awakened to the fact that the systems we thought we had so robustly constructed are actually a house of cards. They're a mirage, a trick of the light: in fact, we are at the mercy of far more powerful elements.

I've spent the last 4-5 years building up a business from scratch. I've planned marketing yearly, strategised on income streams, honed my website, taken businesses courses and done everything you can humanly do (while raising three small people) to construct a successful enterprise. I was particularly pleased with how many wedding cakes I had booked in for 2020. In March this year, that had all been destroyed. Nearly all of this year's income was dust: nearly every single one of this year's weddings moved to 2021, no classes going ahead, and with homeschooling my three little birds, not much time to make cakes even if I'd wanted to. I spent some time grieving. But ultimately my grief was underpinned by the hope that even though I was demonstrably not in control, I know the person who is.

James 4:13 says this: "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that". 

There is someone who is in control: God. And thankfully he is a good God and he invites us to know Him. Children don't feel scared when they know Mum and Dad are there to protect them. That's what it's like when you know God: he's our Father who is not just powerful but so good. We may be a 'mist' in terms of our transience in this world, but 1 Peter also tells us that if we trust in Jesus, we are born again, "not of perishable seed, but of imperishable". That means that once we know God, though our earthly bodies may die one day, our souls will have eternal, perfect life.


2) Fear in this life is real

We can see through the genuine reluctance of many to "un-lockdown" that fear surrounding Coronavirus is very tangible. In some ways, it is fear that has controlled mass behaviour over the last few months. Fear of spreading the disease to others, fear of loved ones suffering, fear that we ourselves will become very ill, fear that the NHS will collapse, fear for those in poverty, fear for economic ruin and all the tragedy that goes with that. The list of worries and fears and anxieties is endless.

Ultimately we've learnt that death could be nearer than we ever dreamt. And there's a fear of not being ready for it.

I'm always conscious, every day, that today could be the last for me or a member of my family. My husband cycles a lot, and there's not a time he goes out the door that I don't run through a scenario where I get the phone call telling me he's been knocked off his bike. Any of us could be diagnosed with cancer at any time or killed in a car accident. I'm just that kind of person: I always envisage the worst case scenario. (It means I always pack the coats even on a sunny day, so it has its uses. In the UK anyway.)

But that whole control thing gives us the false impression that we can choose to avoid these things. In our pampered, wealthy corner of the world, we think we can buy our way to a long and happy life. The last few months have shattered that illusion pretty comprehensively.

So are we ready for death? Do we need to fear it?

Thankfully, the answer is no. If we know the God who is good and in control, then we know that he offers us complete hope and peace even in the face of death. Death entered our world because of sin. Sin meant that our perfect, beautiful earth, where we were supposed to live in harmony with each other, is messed up. Our planet is now devastated. Our relationships are complicated and painful. Where there was only life, there is death all around. That there are so many beautiful and joyful parts of life is testament to the grace notes that remain from God's original creation and from his ongoing love for us all. And there are many parts of the world right now where those grace notes are few and far between. But there is a true eternal hope that supercedes any fleeting joy this world could offer.

In 1 Corinthians, Paul writes: "Death has been swallowed up in victory." "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" Thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ".

The problem of death is a problem for God too. That's why he sent Jesus into the world, to vanquish death once and for all. Jesus himself died on the cross to take the punishment for the sin of mankind but then broke the power of death by coming back to life so we can have eternal life. This earth is still suffering, for now - we still endure sin and death, but if we know the God who is in control by trusting in Jesus' death, we do not need to fear any more because we have eternal hope - our souls are safe.

This may seem like a load of gubbins to you. It may seem like a foreign language. If so, and you'd like to find out more, I am always here to talk about it. I believe the Bible to be true. It's a book - more than a book - that gives us a framework for understanding this messed up world we live in and try to make our home. It explains the pain and fear of human experience as well as the joy and love of it. It gives us hope. And when we believe God's word in the Bible, we don't have to clutch to our false sense of control or fear any more. We rest in our Heavenly Father who knows all things, takes away our fear and gives us the gift of peace in Jesus.

As we ease out of lockdown and regain some semblance of normal life, it's very possible we'll start to forget what the last few months have taught us. That makes them no less real, though, and it makes the good news of the Bible no less relevant. I for one am going to try and remember that when I book next year's wedding cakes in...