Covid-19: "In everything give thanks..."

We're on day 11 of social isolation. There have been a range of emotions thus far, as previous blog posts have illustrated, and many of them haven't been easy. But we, and I think many others, have stumbled upon some real nuggets of joy and blessing in what is ostensibly a pretty good impression of a horror movie.

Here are some "surprised by joy" experiences I've had over the last 10 days.

1) Everything slowing down and stopping
My daily life hasn't necessarily slowed down physically: I now have not a single minute to myself and am now a full-time homeschooling mum of three lively and wonderful daughters. But before the Coronavirus it was pretty common for Aidan & I to have to schedule a night in together each week to make sure we caught up. Life was full of social engagements, school admin, church activities and many responsibilities that have sudden disappeared, leaving the gift of time and energy in their place. Don't get me wrong, I do miss some of it, but it's a lot, and I had to be incredibly well organised to get it all done. Life was 100 miles an hour. There's an immensely comforting feeling of slowness and stillness right now. Coming down from putting the kids to bed and knowing there's not really anything to do or anywhere to go and just wandering into our lounge for church meetings on Zoom instead of battling to get out of the door on time after a day's work is so relaxing. We are very blessed to have a lovely home with a garden to enjoy during this time, with plenty of space for us all, so I am aware this makes a huge difference to how we experience this.

2) Being far more present
As a result of the slowing down and schools shutting, I am now spending more time than I have done for years with my children with absolutely nothing else to distract me. I'm not trying to make tea while worrying about whether we'll be finished by the time the piano teacher gets here or one of us has to leave to meet a friend. It's made me realise that so often when I'm irritated by the kids, it's because there's a time pressure or emotional trigger on the situation (what will our friends think if they arrive now and see my kids/the house like this!), rather than because the issue with the child is beyond my reach to resolve. With nothing else to do, I've found myself pretty easily able to have enough patience and calm to deal with the fights and arguments. This is down to God giving me unlimited grace and strength each day, but humanly speaking, if we are being spread too thin, then cracks are going to show. God made us with finite resources.

3) Not having too much choice
We often struggle to think of what to do and where to go on a weekend. This place or that place, shall we take them for a drink and cake, who haven't we seen for a while, should we have so and so round for dinner? Again, all lovely things. But it's actually been really liberating to be so confined in your choices that you don't expend much emotional or mental energy on making those decisions. I definitely get 'decision fatigue' so it's nice to just know that we either stay at home with our vast list of activities or choose one walk to do. Even with the food shortages at the supermarkets, accepting that I'll cook whatever I can get hold of has been quite freeing!

4) Noticing
We've been going for daily walks in the glorious sunshine, and with no deadlines and the incentive of knowing that you have to make the most of it, I've been pausing to take in the details we used to miss. The delicate colour of buds and flowers, the way the sunlight plays through a glade of silver birches and the breathtaking views of the Yorkshire moors have all lit our life up in the last week. We've been so grateful that we're in a location that holds an array of gorgeous walks from our doorstep so we can easily get out into nature without having to drive anywhere. The walks have also been a time of my brain "defragging" and taking the time to process everything that's going on because there's nothing else crowding into them.

5) Being kind to ourselves
It's such a cliché, but when there's a raging pandemic that shuts down life as we know it, it's patently obvious that being kind to yourself and cutting yourself and your loved ones some slack is a complete no-brainer. I'm not planning on learning to crochet or read the complete works of Shakespeare or anything particularly 'big' over the next few months. I'm just happy if we all get through each day with as much kindness and love as possible. So if the kids want to watch a movie after the 'school' day's finished, it's fine. If I want a glass of wine and a cake on an evening, go for it. If the kids get angry and upset I'm far quicker to offer a hug than to chide them, understanding that it's part of how they're trying to adjust to so much change.

Reading this list back, the question is, why don't we do these things anyway? I am already curious about how we will all assimilate back into 'normal' life once this is over. I don't want to lose many of these blessings and just return to the fast-paced, fraught existence that was our previous norm. There's a sense that while Covid-19 is a symptom of brokenness, it's also here to show us a whole load of things we needed to fix. 

What positives have come out of this for you so far?