Tomorrow there'll be no church meeting (apart from on Zoom). We won't be having my mum round for Mothers' Day lunch. It remains to be seen whether we'll be able to get hold of a joint of meat for a roast dinner at any point. I've struggled to even get cans of soup and cheese so far, so it doesn't seem likely.
For the next 3 months and possibly beyond, our only human contact will be with each other, and, assuming we remain symptom-free, by going to shop for supplies, at which times we'll remain 2 metres apart from other humans, and my children will not be allowed to come. This is with the exception of my husband, who will remain going into the school he works in most days in the week, thus heightening our risk of infection as a family and meaning we need to adhere even more stringently to the social distancing measures we're taking.
My business is taking a hit, with 5 wedding cakes cancelled so far and no doubt many more to come out of the 18 booked in for 2020. t's heartbreaking reading the emails from brides and grooms, not to mention the prospect of not being able to pay myself for most months this year.
But I wouldn't have that much time to work anyway, given that from Monday I'll be homeschooling my 3 children - but without the social interaction and trips out that families who homeschool all year round enjoy.
Yes, it's bleak. I wake up in the morning feeling deep apprehension imbued with the sense that this is a surreal bad dream. But in the last week God has spoken to me so clearly in so many ways and I want to share that here. While I am feeling uncertain and deeply sad, I feel an underlying sense of peace and confidence that God is giving us grace for today and will continue to do so. This is part of his plan.
Here are 3 things I've read in God's word this week:
1) 1 Timothy 6:3-10 - 'But godliness with contentment is great gain'
It's a well known verse, but it hit me hard this week as I was struggling with the financial uncertainty for the nation and for my business. Paul is talking about false teachers who wrongly think that "godliness is a means to financial gain". Actually, Paul says, "godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."
Do I have food and clothing? Yes, and so much more. A beautiful, spacious house to be holed up in. A family of 4 around me to be isolated with. Technology to stay in touch with loved ones. Books, TV, a piano, a big kitchen to cook delicious food in, a garden to play in, lovely walks a step out of my door. But most of all, the Gospel - our eternal hope.
We can be content and we must learn contentment day by day while so much has been taken away from us because we have more than enough.
2) 1 Timothy 6:11-21 - 'Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called'
I read this on a morning when I woke up with my thoughts busily churning over how I responded to this crisis: how I could help, how I needed to pastor my children, how I could still be a good friend. I opened the Bible and read this:
"But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called... until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ."
I'm sure Paul wasn't talking about social distancing when he wrote 'flee from all this' but it gave me a giggle! We may be struggling to grasp what our new roles are during the Covid-19 crisis, but this couldn't be clearer: above all, pursue our Gospel calling. This may work itself out in new ways during this time. There's no question our endurance will have to mature. But our goals are clear. We don't flounder around in the mess of this life with our eyes down, we take hold of the eternal life to which you were called - we fix our eyes on Jesus Christ - his finished work of salvation and his imminent return. Paul also refers to our eternal life as the "life that is truly life" in verse 19. I love that phrase. This life is just a passing shadow of the true life to come - where there will be no virus, or any illness or pain.
Later on in verse 17 Paul says, "Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God".
I think there are a lot of people in denial that this could be happening to our nation, a western country accustomed to an affluent, convenient lifestyle with problems that disappear if you chuck money at them and a sense of entitlement to so much. Covid-19 has brought the world economy to its knees. It's shown that man is not all-powerful and that wealth can crumble in an instant. We are not in control. And so it is pointless to put our hope in wealth as it is totally uncertain, although we can kid ourselves for a while it is. We need to learn to put our hope solely and constantly in God, who is never uncertain.
3) 2 Timothy 1: 7 - 'For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline'.
I read this the morning after the government announced schools would be shutting indefinitely. The night of that press conference I felt at peace - yes, overwhelmed with the prospect and feeling vastly inadequate, but trusting that God would enable me with his power. The morning after, I got up and read this verse. It couldn't be more relevant. God gives us power to do things we never imagined, by his Holy Spirit; to overcome battles we don't have the strength for alone. He gives us a spirit of love - and I'm going to need an eternal well of love to surround my children with over the next few months. We have unlimited love when we're plugged into Christ, the source of the deepest, never-ending love that saved us. And God gives us a spirit of self-discipline - when we're no longer in slavery to sinful passions and whims, we are able to be self-controlled and disciplined - a character trait I will definitely need as I seek to provide some semblance of structure and calm at home.
There are many more things God has revealed to us over the last few days but here are some that have particularly struck me. This morning I read in 2 Timothy 2:8-9, "This is my gospel, for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God's word is not chained." Coronavirus may have chained us to our homes, but God's word is NOT chained! It will not return void and it's on us to keep loving his word and speaking it to one another.
God's word is love and peace in times of turmoil as well as times of plenty. We need to hold on to that.
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